We're up on the confidence screen?
Not the big screen.
There we go.
Advance one slide so she can make sure everything
is in frame.
Oh, hey!
Wait, you two have the same hat.
(Laughter.) Mine is cooler.
Has fewer brains.
His is more pimp.
Everybody in the hall?
If you want to win prices and have shots, come in here.
Everybody in the hall, shots for the winners in this room.
Not TB shots, you jack-wagon.
(Speaker away from microphone.) I believe we have
Skye vodka and what is the other one?
We also have crack.
Smack you so hard.
You know what?
I'll give you a shot if you'll take it straight up.
Come on.
It's free.
You don't have to be a winner.
But you have to drink it.
Yeah, I just want to see you drink it.
Are these bottles open?
Nope.
If you want to.
I figured everyone would feel better if they were closed,
then opened in here.
Ladies and gentlemen, DC Awards.
(Applause.) RUSS: Good morning, DEF CON.
(Cheering.) RUSS: I say that because probably half
of you just got out of bed, didn't you?
And the other half of going right back to bed once we've emptied the bottles.
Bye!
We'll miss you.
Welcome to DEF CON awards.
I am Russ.
This is Jericho.
And over here we have the invisible Dark Tangent.
He was here Year 1 and has been missing in action since.
If you see him in the hallways, tell him we're here.
Let's talk a little bit about what the awards are, how it works.
First slide is why.
Why did we do the DEF CON Awards?
Right?
We have people that sit around and complain or brag
about accomplishments, things like that.
We wanted to recognize those things
but we wanted to be a little bit different.
It is important to note that we did not vote on this,
all right?
We get up here and get to talk about it, but people
in the community nominated all these individuals or organizations
for the categories.
We didn't vote.
We had organizational input only.
And we do it so that you get recognition for good things that you do when you
kick ass and you get great recognition when you do really shitty stuff.
And that's why we are here.
These are all public nominations.
We open this up to the entire world.
We have been getting steadily more and more nominations
over the last few years that we've done this.
We open it up via Survey Monkey.
We made a mistake the first year and did voting.
Did you try my glasses on?
Mess you up?
You're blind.
RUSS: And deaf.
This should be fun.
We tried to take the votes on Survey Monkey
as well and hackers do an amazing job of screwing
with your numbers.
So we do it a little differently now.
Jericho bought a sound meter and we are going to do it here.
You can actually vote.
If you happen to be one of the nominees and you're
in the room and you win something and you want a shot, or five,
these bottles are unopened.
You can crack the seal yourself if you want.
I figured nobody will trust an already-opened bot at DEF CON.
There is a board review.
It goes out.
Everyone nominates everyone they want.
Jericho and I will sit down and decide which one
is the most relevant, which ones got the most votes and which ones are just
trolling us.
We will remove the trolls and bring you
the absolute distilled best and the voting is done right here
with the sound meter, like I said.
Past years, we started this in 2011.
It was a brain child that has been slow to give birth simply
because people would rather be drinking and hacking and breaking
into stuff than sitting in here watching Jericho
and I talk about this.
It was originally called the DEF CON Awards which was
slightly confusing since the closing ceremonies became
the DEF CON Awards.
At some point we started taking three and a half hours
to close this conference down.
We renamed it to DEF CON Recognize Awards
because we are trying to recognize people
for being douchebags or awesome.
Hi, Paul.
Last two years was held on Sunday and anything held on Sunday
after partying on Friday and Saturday isn't going
to happen.
We had a dozen people in the last couple
of years and Brian and I started drinking a lot on our own.
This year we moved it to Saturday.
We're all awake.
Not sober but awake.
RUSS: Okay, DEF CON 19, 2011.
We had worst media conference, best privacy technology,
best open source software response to an attack or method, best author
or story that captures the hacker mind set and then we had
the Security Charlatan of the Year.
As you know, Jericho may not know if you don't know it's sad,
but Jericho does a blog and he does a lot
of research and write-ups on potential charlatans
in the security community.
He's actually got a very big response.
We get input from the industry, around the world that point people
out who are doing a great job of trying to be something that
they are not.
And so that's, that was really one of the main premises
of the awards was trying to get that information
out so everyone would know who they could trust.
And these were the winners.
So you know, we had king pin, the story
by Kevin Poulsen who won the best author and story.
We had Gregory Evans, if any of you remember him
from a couple years ago, because he's still
around for Security Charlatan of the year.
Oddly, every year we've done this, nobody who has won a you're
a piece of shit award has come up an collected their award.
What we've done with those in the past is just Jericho has taken
those occupant and auctioned them off and collected the money,
given it to EFF.
Right?
I think that's right.
JERICHO: Or HFC.
RUSS: Or hackers for charity.
If a douchebag wins it, we take the award out and auction it
off and give the money to somebody who needs it.
That was the year we got trophies.
This year you get inebriated.
DEF CON 20, last year, our categories, worst media person or outlet.
This was for print.
We separated out the media that year
and it was a mess.
So we had worst media person or outlet for broadcast where we had no
nominations at all.
You all love fox news apparently.
I got two laughs from that.
Everyone else is like: What is a television?
Best privacy enhancing technology, tour one,
sec best SEC or non-hack Twitter feed, non-news.
We renamed the next award.
This was -- no offense was intended by this originally.
This was more of a European thing or we were calling somebody
a ding dong.
But we've renamed this award this year to the Nit-Twit.
We have a captain obvious award for last year that general Alexander won
and oddly here we are a year later and it has been proven.
We have the Security Charlatan of the year
for last year was Ankit Fadia.
I will hand it off to Jericho to do what he does best and I'll make fun
and hell he will him as he goes through the categories.
This is interactive.
Be involved.
If you are in the room and want to wash away the pain or share
in the victory, please come up and have a shot or two.
JERICHO: Heckle him.
Best Media Coverage.
This time we went back to any media.
Best Privacy Enhancing Tech since DEF CON 20.
A lot of these categories we're not looking for the best in the world ever.
And some of the nominations we had to rule out because they were
a lot older than some of you in the room.
Worst Privacy Enhancing Tech, Best Security or Hacker Feed.
Now the Nit-Twit award.
Best DEF CON group project that was approved.
That was an interesting -- we'll get to that, sorry.
Worst or Most Meaningless
Security Buzzword.
I'm sure we all know some of those.
Biggest Law Enforcement Blunder since DEF CON 20 once again, and
the Security Charlatan of the Year.
So we will start out with Best Media Coverage.
This is the only one where we get to have some good visuals.
Quite a few nominations.
By the way the slides for this will be up on attrition.org next week.
It has the full list of nominations down in the notes
below that you can't see on the screen.
So you can look at our work and see which ones we decided
to pick out of the list and put up, and all that.
And call us out for it if you want.
Brian Krebs, Glen Greenwald, Register Security Week, RT.com
and Kevin Poulsen.
Actually that's the Worst Media Coverage that we get
the good individuals, not these one.
Are these names new to anyone?
(Speaker away from microphone.) AUDIENCE: No!
JERICHO: Thank you!
Okay.
So based on that, see if I can make this damn thing work.
Testing!
It's probably good.
So one at a time.
Based on their work in the past year or so which
of these people do you think deserve the award?
Brian Krebs?
(Applause and cheers.) JERICHO: You writing
this down?
Make sure you can see it.
83.2?
That was pretty loud.
How about Glen Greenwald and from the Guardian.co.uk?
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: He can see, it's cool.
AUDIENCE: He can't hear.
JERICHO: What?
RUSS: What?
JERICHO: The Reg.
(Applause and cheers.) RUSS: It didn't register at all.
JERICHO: Registered the same as me.
One thing I'll give them, they usually have fun titles
for all their articles.
Even if the article is kind of limp, the title is usually good.
AUDIENCE: That was the unverified single -- JERICHO:
Masters of the unverified single source news story.
(Chuckles.) JERICHO: How about Security Week?
(Chuckles.) JERICHO: Apparently it was a little less loud on that one.
It didn't even register as much as the last.
RT.com, specifically for their Snowden coverage.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: Last we
have some guy named Kevin Poulsen.
I think he has been on the scene a year or two.
Yeah, he probably did some time.
I don't know.
His work at wired and this one was actually
submitted by the guy that just told you we didn't vote.
Anyway, yeah.
Someone has to drink.
So anyway, Kevin Poulsen.
(Some applause.) JERICHO: Weasel, you didn't clap very loud.
Based on that, RT.com.
Yea!
Is there anyone here from RT.com?
(There is no response.) He's like not me.
JERICHO: He runs up with the camera.
Come on!
I have to assume you're with RT.com now.
You have to take a shot.
For the next five minutes you're with RT.com if you would like a shot.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: And you
can take a picture if you take a shot.
While he's figuring out the tamper-proof seal over there,
we'll go to the worst media coverage of hackers.
This is where we have fun visuals.
The nominees are from ReadWrite, their article titled "World War III."
We'll go one at a time.
There we go.
That's the visual we got with the article.
If you want to take a minute to read the top paragraph?
Every day the pentagon is attacked 3 million times.
That's amusing because weasel, was that 95 or 96 we got
the article about the pentagon being attacked
250,000 times?
Yeah, because they were counting ping.
So anyway, we have that good visual that World
War III is here and we are losing.
I said you get a shot.
Oh, yeah, solidarity.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: I'm good
at something!
Next up we have Marie Claire, "When Geeks Attack."
So look at that picture.
Those are apparently Brogrammers.
(Laughter.) JERICHO: Can anyone tell the difference between that
and a DEF CON crowd?
There's females in that picture and there's no females at DEF CON.
Yeah, good call!
You want to take a sip so you're more coherent?
Next we have Meet The Press.
This douchebag, David Gregory, basically says: "Mr. Greenwald,
shouldn't we be charging you with a crime for doing your job
as a journalist and covering a story?"
He actually grills them.
It was embarrassing for Gregory.
Man, I failed.
I didn't even put the YouTube link in there.
You have to Google it or something.
I don't know.
Next, the Manici?
Okay, yeah.
NPA.
So there's a little back story to this one.
Yeah, basically they write an article and they didn't quite use
the best wording.
So everyone thought that what they said was that the law was going
to do something and it ends up they didn't.
By the time they issued the retraction or apology,
everyone was in a panic.
Yeah, they really screwed the pooch on that one.
Next we have Info World, "Confessions Of A Cyber Warrior."
This is a very recent one.
Yeah?
Who actually read this article?
Who read this article and kept a straight face?
Liar!
Okay, yeah.
If you want a good, good laugh grab a bottle,
read this article.
It's a laugh.
What?
We are going to vote now.
This time make noise, bitches.
ReadWrite, "World War III."
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: Oh, shit,
got triple digits on that.
Marie Claire, "When Geeks Attack."
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: It's close, close.
JERICHO: Good are effort.
Meet The Press, David Gregory?
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: These two guys are still louder.
JERICHO: This is revealing.
Stack the vote!
JERICHO: If any of you ...
(Audience calling out.) JERICHO: If any of you want to vote, come
up and have more influence.
That's how this works.
The only reason someone is not stacking the vote
is because he actually forgot his air horn.
(Laughter.) AUDIENCE: (Speaker away
from microphone.) JERICHO: By who?
Cite your source!
Okay, the Manici and "The Correction" ?
Wah-wah-wah.
JERICHO: Yeah, that was limp.
Info World, "Confessions of a Cyber Warrior."
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: That's not bad from the back of the room.
JERICHO: Who is that making most
of the noise back there?
Come on, one of you raise your hands.
Who made all the noise back there?
The harbor seal back there?
(Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: The
winner, thanks to these two fine gentlemen is,
ReadWrite and "World War III," which we are losing.
It's in print.
It's fact.
Yeah, so best -- did I skip one?
Best Privacy-Enhancing Technology since DEF CON 20.
We actually had, I think we had more than that.
A lot of nominations but only four of them count.
So Ghostery.
Anyone use that?
One user?
You better be loud.
Disconnect 2?
Any users?
Does anyone here care about privacy?
No?
Okay.
Twitter 2 user authentication?
Anyone use that on Twitter?
Two people?
And we wouldn't want to hack your accounts anyway?
We doubled it.
We doubled from the previous category.
You went from one to two.
JERICHO: And who uses onion Pi?
This is completely random now.
JERICHO: The NSA thanks all of you.
Just as a note, we want to point out that the reason
the other products did not make it on the list, they are not recent
or new since DEF CON 20.
That's really the key.
We need things that are new over the last 12 or 14 months.
JERICHO: Russ, use the microphone.
RUSS: It isn't on.
JERICHO: It is now.
RUSS: What he said.
JERICHO: Thank you.
Anyway, yeah, since DEF CON 20, thank you esteemed hat.
So Ghostery.
Boo!
JERICHO: This is going to be fun.
None of you people know what any of this shit does.
RUSS: And they don't care.
(Laughter.) JERICHO: See, next time you need
to nominate whatever crappy tool you're using for privacy, paper
and pencil or something?
RUSS: Microsoft Word.
JERICHO: I hear that zip encryption is pretty strong.
(Laughter.) (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: I
love JSON.
Disconnect 2?
(Loud cheer.) AUDIENCE: Yeah!
Et cetera!
JERICHO: Disconnect 2 is hot shit based on that vote.
Twitter two factor authentication.
Come on, two of you!
I don't know of that little U.K.
golf clap.
(Some cheering and applause.) RUSS: They had
the most supporters in the room and they are not winning.
They are getting ready.
JERICHO: Onion Pi!
(Loud cheer and yelling.) JERICHO: That was
a noble effort, wild charging bear.
(Laughter.) RUSS: That's officially the highest number we have ever seen
in three years.
(Laughter.) JERICHO: Now, which of you critics was all bitching
and whining like a whore about the unscientific process we use?
I heard it from right here, hmm?
Very scientific but not particularly relevant.
JERICHO: Neither is the rest of our industry.
RUSS: And we alcohol.
JERICHO: Anyway, we give you people many ways
to influence this.
We use Survey Monkey.
We let you come here and make noise, run up, fellate the damn thing
if you want.
If you want someone to win, next year you have some
good guidance.
Air horn.
The winner on that one was onion Pi
because of the esteemed gentleman down here.
Since you are obviously users, you need to come up here and partake.
Designated drinker, two shots.
Good man!
Worst Privacy-Enhancing Technology since DEF CON 20.
RUSS: Oh, God.
JERICHO: Newly disclosed.
RUSS: Newly disclosed.
It may be old but it has a new name.
JERICHO: It has a fancy new Power Point, I hear.
Prism?
Anyone heard of Prism?
Yeah, good stuff.
(Applause.) JERICHO: Cypher Cloud.
Bogus security claims, abusing DMCA as a defense.
That's interesting.
I'll have to look into this one.
Gmail.
No reason given.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: I thought that
was Prism.
JERICHO: Prism light?
And last one is WiFi Sugar, "Proof is in the Website," which I haven't
read either.
Anyone used WiFi Sugar?
Any WiFi Sugar developers?
Get a better name.
Thank you.
No.
RUSS: WiFi Sugar.
JERICHO: And get me some WiFi Sugar.
I can see a bad SNL skit off of that.
Okay.
So -- RUSS: Can you move to the other side of the stage?
JERICHO: Prism?
RUSS: Go for Prism.
JERICHO: No, no, rules say you have to have it.
(Loud cheer.) JERICHO: That was ten less than you two actually making
noise on your own.
Sir?
Sirs?
The failed panel was a few hours ago.
RUSS: Oh, buddy.
Yeah, I got it.
JERICHO: Cypher Cloud.
If I can't be loud, I'll make the other fuckers be quiet.
RUSS: It doesn't go backwards, people.
JERICHO: Okay.
Gmail.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: I actually think
that was the most popular and it was actually quite nice.
JERICHO: That was pretty swell.
I think we will discount these fuckers
down here in favor of that.
Use the microphone.
RUSS: If you want to keep Prism -- JERICHO: If you
brought your own microphone that would be a different story.
RUSS: Unlike your style.
JERICHO: Yeah, about ten less?
Last, WiFi sugar.
RUSS: Remember, it doesn't go backwards.
Hey, somebody -- (One applauding.) RUSS: That's
the lowest number we have today.
We have two.
We have Prism -- don't be quiet.
And we have Gmail and we had more energy on Gmail.
So if you want to vote for Prism, use your voice right now.
(Loud shouting and applause.) RUSS: That's nice.
All right.
Gmail, go!
(Loud shouting, cheering and applause.) RUSS: I think you
went backwards.
Yeah.
You didn't even meet your previous one.
JERICHO: 90.3.
RUSS: So it's Prism.
JERICHO: Is General Alexander in the room to take this award?
Shot, General!
(Speaker away from microphone.) RUSS: We didn't
have to ask that question earlier.
They knew.
JERICHO: Any feds?
I heard after his Black Hat talk went swimmingly when people were calling
out bullshit to interrupt him?
That he beelined straight to McCarran.
RUSS: That was planned before his talk.
JERICHO: No, the eggs got confiscated
before they got to the room.
That happened.
RUSS: I paid a lot of money for those eggs.
JERICHO: Now we are getting into the fun stuff.
RUSS: You didn't tell them who won?
JERICHO: Prism.
Don't worry, they know they won.
Where do you think this goes?
Best Twitter Feed.
IO Air.
Make noise if you follow these people.
(Applause.) JERICHO: Moxie.
Your Anon News.
Space Rogue.
(Applause and cheers.) JERICHO: You want
them to make noise on the next ...
RUSS: You know, it's really hard.
I just recognized him without the blue hair.
JERICHO: I'm sorry.
RUSS: I'm sorry, dude.
I haven't seen you in forever.
I apologize.
I'm sitting up here going: Oh, who's the guy with the beard?
JERICHO: I was going to say you're sporting
the post office poster beard.
Have you seen me?
$20,000 reward.
RUSS: Good to see you, sir.
JERICHO: This is the one time I had moderator
influence, the Hacker News was nominated.
They are plagiarists; they are not going to win.
Sorry.
Hacker Huntress.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: Other than
Space Rogue, any of you nominees in the room?
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: Yeah,
yeah, 87 percent of the room is anonymous probably.
Okay.
RUSS: Can we mix it up a little bit?
How many of you have been in this community
and following DEF CON for at least ten years?
All right, not even half the room.
Here is the thing.
If you know Space Rogue and you -- (Cheers
and applause.) RUSS: And you follow the Hacker News Network
in the day -- JERICHO: The Hacker News Network, HNN is not
the Hacker News.
RUSS: Right.
JERICHO: This is a wanna-be rip off.
RUSS: I'm trying to draw a line there.
There was the original HNN which was
Space Rogue.
It was awesome.
RUSS: Now there is the facsimile of such which is kind
of like candy cane dipped in bird shit.
(Laughter.) JERICHO: Someone is going to win
the arbitrary insult award.
(Laughter.) RUSS: I just want to draw that line.
If you have been around ten years, it is not the same HNN.
JERICHO: Now we are going to vote.
IO Air.
(Some applause and cheering.) RUSS: It's better
than nothing.
No, it's not actually!
It's not better than nothing.
JERICHO: I think that was a little quieter than the idle room is.
Someone goes -- sorry, Jacob.
Moxie.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO:
Seventy-eight-ish, I forgot to hit the button.
your incompetence.
My fault.
Your Anon News.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: Don't laugh.
It's winning right now.
JERICHO: Urine?
We can have fun with this.
Oh, yeah.
Penis.
Back Dick drop table.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: We need an award for that.
AUDIENCE: Sweet.
JERICHO: Designated drinker, drink that!
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: He's
our designated drinker for the stage, too.
And last Hacker Huntress?
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: You skipped.
JERICHO: Oh!
RUSS: It was 85.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: No
one important.
(Laughter.) JERICHO: Okay, fine.
Space Rogue.
(Cheers and applause.) (One loud shout.) RUSS: You get on!
(Laughter.) JERICHO: So by popular vote the Hacker News -- no!
Oh, ho ho ho.
We are going to make you come up here and drink since you won.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: Are we
close to end or did you guys get promised
free shots, all of you who just came in?
Free shots?
Well, your only chance of getting a free shot is to come down here
and make noise when you're told to.
Seriously, space rogue has been doing the hacker news for a long time.
He would wake up at some obscene hour
and I know because I was up from the night before.
There's something you need to know about him that my friend Carol
and I, we would do editing for him.
RUSS: Caroline Minot?
JERICHO: No, Caroline Findlay.
He has his own form of English called Spaceronics.
Every morning he writes articles minus
the -- I don't want to say clever use.
I want to say fisting of the English language.
The content was there.
And Carol would wake up early and I would be up from the night
before and we would edit his crap.
Thank you, Space Rogue.
You've done a great thing for the community for a long time.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: We had
the good.
Now we need the bad.
RUSS: I forgot to change the title of that one.
JERICHO: Drink.
You don't get to designate that one either.
That's purely on you.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: If you
want free shots, come up here and make noise when you're told.
Come sit down and help vote.
RUSS: There's a celebrity in the front row, too.
JERICHO: The Nit-Twit award because someone forgot to change
the name on this slide.
Voting for the Twitter feed considered the worst.
The first nominee is the Jester.
Who follows the Jester?
RUSS: No nominated the Jester?
JERICHO: Just one person?
AUDIENCE: Was it anonymous?
JERICHO: We only got IP addresses and last I heard, they are
a little untrustworthy.
Next, white rabbit.
Anyone follow him?
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) AUDIENCE: Her.
No, him.
JERICHO: It.
RUSS: There's a debate in the front row whether it has genitalia.
JERICHO: Third, Asher Research?
Anyone?
Gregory Evans?
I know that most of you don't follow
because his account has been locked a long time because of me.
AUDIENCE: Thank you.
JERICHO: Last, Ada initiative.
Hey, Val, you in the room?
I want to talk do you about some Dongle.
RUSS: You know, there's a certain iron that they're
on the 20_th_ Twat award.
We did change that.
It is the Nit-Twit award.
I'll get in trouble for that.
JERICHO: All right, speed this up a little bit, too.
The Jester.
Make noise if you think it's the worst Twitter feed.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO:
White Rabbit.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: He's getting louder.
AUDIENCE: He's drinking more.
RUSS: You want more.
JERICHO: Asher Research?
(One cheer.) RUSS: I was wrong, you can make it go backwards.
JERICHO: Gregory Evans?
(Loud cheers and applause.) JERICHO: White
Rabbit thanks you.
RUSS: Everyone is still really confused about that one.
JERICHO: Ada initiative.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: Sorry that
was a muscle spasm, nothing else.
And aside little -- Okay.
RUSS: It was Ada.
JERICHO: Valor the other chick?
You want to come up here and we can discuss your
financials that have been leaked out?
Anyone?
RUSS: You can have a shot, too.
JERICHO: A shot.
Consensual shot.
Okay, fine, we'll send your award later.
I'm not going to spend time on this one, Best Project by a DEF CON Group.
We had two nominees, one had 87 votes and
the other had one.
Honey pot that can bite.
Anyone involved in that?
RUSS: Anyone?
It's free booze.
JERICHO: It's a DEF CON group something.
I don't know, you're supposed to be here.
Fuckers.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) RUSS: You
can lie.
We don't have whiskey, though.
JERICHO: Anyway, that one was an obvious rigged vote.
We'll give it to them because they are
spirited, congratulations.
Worst Security Buzzword since DEF CON 20.
It took a hold of the news.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) Indicator.
JERICHO: Remember, some of these were nominated.
RUSS: Drink!
Drink!
It is not mine.
It's his.
JERICHO: The laptop owner drinks.
Okay.
We're going down these real quick.
APT.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO:
Buzzwords, plural.
Shut up.
AUDIENCE: How is that anything for security?
JERICHO: Security community, duh.
Cloud.
Yeah, that one we probably shouldn't included.
Give you that.
CEH, Certified Ethical Hacker.
(Cheers and laugh.) JERICHO: That's a respectable number of laughs.
I'll tell Jay Bavisi, the head of the EC-Council, about that one.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: No,
I'm not really missing it at all.
ADA Initiative.
(Cheers and applause.) RUSS: I like that.
JERICHO: Damn, you're loud.
Okay.
Anonymous.
That's another one we probably should have dropped since ...
yeah.
We'll skip that one.
Cyber.
(Loud cheers and applause.) JERICHO: The irony,
of course, is that all of you should be drinking for that.
Shut up.
China.
RUSS: That's all you've got?
JERICHO: Nice.
Last, Snowden.
(Loud cheers and applause.) RUSS: Hmm.
All right.
JERICHO: The award is cyber, and we are all losers for that one.
RUSS: Everyone drink.
JERICHO: All right, we've got five minutes.
We have to really do this quick.
Biggest Law Enforcement/Legal System Blunder since DEF CON 20.
We are not going to take votes.
(Some applause.) JERICHO: We are going to call all of these the winner,
on how law enforcement fucked up in big ways.
Real quick, unofficial award, Best Con, Pwns, if you missed them at Black Hat,
see the video.
They are funny.
Security humor, really, really clever.
Follow -- hmm?
Best book on freaking this year, exploding the phone.
If any of you are interested in telephone and freaking history,
get the book.
Internet hacker security historian of the year, Jason Scott.
Yeah!
By the way, if any of you use the Internet, go donate to archive.org.
If you have any old hacker stuff sitting in your closet, old paperwork
or whatever, work with Jason to make sure it gets in the right hands.
Many people ship stuff to him, he makes sure it goes
to the right places, certain museums or initiatives dedicated
to collecting that information.
Awesome work.
Most prolific tweeter most desperate for an award?
So last, how much time do we have?
Two minutes?
Three?
Hey, goon?
RUSS: You have 15.
What about the slide ...
JERICHO: Russ said 15.
I like his answer.
RUSS: I can roll it a little bit.
Who is going to fight somebody with free booze on the stage.
JERICHO: Security Charlatan of the Year nominations.
I did not vote, but I worked with my team, the first is Ankit Fadia.
Anyone know him?
No, what did he do this year?
He gave the same presentation he has been giving
for the past 13 years where he still uses Back Orifice
as an example for a remote access trojan.
RUSS: On that note, is anybody
aside from Space Rogue here that was involved in any of the Back Orifice stuff.
I would like to give them a shot, too.
Do we have Dildog?
JERICHO: Any of you L0PHT bitches.
Rahul Chagi?
He's like a Fadia light?
Kim.com Schmitz?
Most of you heard the news about him, his antics,
mega this and mega fuckwad and all that.
He has a long history before that of fraud and all kinds
of other interesting stuff.
Make sure you read up on that.
I do not know the story behind this one but I got votes.
Ford and Net Security?
RUSS: He still wants a shot.
JERICHO: Afterwards if you know why
they should be nominated, let me know.
Same with this one, Chris Russo?
Chris, are you in the room?
Can I buy you a shot and get your secrets?
Bottle?
Okay.
So based on that, and I know it's a little blind
because if you did your homework you would have read
about these people in advance.
So Ankit Fadia.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO:
Seems complicated.
RUSS: It is.
JERICHO: By that I mean it's not easy to say.
Fuck you.
Rahul Chagi.
(Cheers and applause.) JERICHO: I'll make sure to write him and say that
he sucked at this award, too.
Kim.com Schmitz.
(Loud cheers and applause and yelling.) JERICHO: I don't care if he wins.
Get another shot and designate his shot.
Ford and Net Security.
Yeah!
Listen, people, if you are going to nominate someone, give us details,
juicy dirt I can spill on stage.
RUSS: Or at least show up so you can vote for them.
JERICHO: Yeah.
And last, Chris Russo?
(One cheer.) RUSS: I wish we had a cricket sound track.
It would be too loud.
JERICHO: We'll test your interest in the community, just for fun.
Also nominated but not on this list Fernando Gaunt.
(Laughter.) (One loud yell.) AUDIENCE: Background?
No, I don't.
AUDIENCE: (Speaker away from microphone.) JERICHO: That
was intentional.
I was curious.
Thank you, thank you, okay.
So Kim.com Schmitz is the winner of the Security Charlatan Award
this year.
Everyone, take this Power Point presentation, highlight his name
and upload it to his mega service.
Next year, we'll have more nominations, different categories maybe.
We will actually have trophies and more booze and hopefully we'll
have more people.
All of you who came in for free shots, DEF CON parties is ready
to give them to you later tonight.
Thank you!
RUSS: Thanks, guys.